SIC - Orkney & Shetland valuation joint board

Letters / Up Helly Aa skyimp

Baabie o da Birsiescord wis dat doon ipo hit whin shu wis alang yisterday da wye at shu couldna win tae Up Helly Aa dis year becis o dis vild smit feerie.

I axed her what wye shu only goed in trow da day an niver goed tae a haal.

“Weel” says shu ” I s’ll tell dee! Fur ee thing dir enoch tae see trow da day tae haad an ould body lik me oot o langer.  Kens du last year whin someen pat yon idder bill on da Market Cross aboot ‘ Retain da Raven’ I hedno me glesses on an towt dat it said somethin aboot ‘Refrain fae Riftin’ an I towt hit wis a public health announcement.

An is fir me no gyan tae a haal!  Weel whin I wis juist no lang mairried an Ertie wis gien back tae sea me an da lasses med hit tae da Marts.  We wirna dere lang afore I got spaekin tae an Irishman – a braa swack lad caad Ruud O’ Hellery an he keepit gittin me somethin he ca’ad ‘Irish Coffee’ you ken hit tasted far different fae da Mellow Birds I wis wint wi – in fact hit med me aafil blyde aboot him.

Dan I turned dat mindless at da lasses hed tae seek me.  Apparently peerie Nancy o Nyggletoon eventually fan me hinging ower da waa fornent da Matchbox singing somethin aboot “Roll me over lay me doon an do it again”. I tink yon Cliff Richard sang hit at a Eurovision Song Contest.

Onywye da upshot wis I could hardly bear tae dip me tae mylk wir Sholma fir da maist o a week an dat’s why I nivir goed tae a haal again.”

“Baabie” says I “wir dey no a bit a spaekalashun aboot dates eftir da twins Seamus an Sean wir born wi Ertie bein awa at sea?”

“Boy” gowstered shu “Will du had dy sheeks he nivir could coont!”

Donnie Morrison
Weisdale

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