Spoilsport

Blurred vision? Sporadic myopia? Itchy eyes? All could be signs of Covid-19 infection. But fear not.

There’s new advice from Westminster, already tried and tested by no other than D. Cummings, chief adviser to Bullingdon boy Johnson: to ascertain whether you’re fit behind the wheel despite these worrying symptoms, you can now carry out your very own eye test.

Simply pack your family, including small children, into your car and take them on a sixty km round trip. If you think you’re fit to drive then you are fit to drive. It’s as simple as that.

Sadly, we don’t get such brilliant advice in Scotland and have to rely on the services of professionals to get our eyes tested. Nicola is such a spoilsport.

Rosa Steppanova
Lea Gardens
Tresta