Post independence blues

First allow me to correct Douglas Young (Indebted; SN 19/02/14). His letter (Immediate impact; SN 9/2/14) was signed off thus: Douglas Young, Yes Shetland.

It was not signed off on behalf of, as part of, pp. “per procurationem” or for Yes Shetland, therefore my correspondence was directed at him, the author and signatory of the letter.

Even signing a letter off as Douglas Young, (a component part of) Yes Shetland, would direct all replies to yourself as the mouth piece (component part) of Yes Shetland.

It is a pity your Yes Shetland Facebook page does not come under the Trades Description Act Douglas, as it should be named “Yes International”, oh and you forgot Belarus.

I must say I like to look at your Yes page as it is more entertaining than most Yes pages.

I particularly like the “catty” photos accompanied by the “catty” posts and followed by the “catty” comments, they make a purrfect evenings entertainment furr me.

What I like most are your photos of Shetland. I have saved them to my desktop so that I can browse through them when I retire and if against all the odds Scotland is independent.

Because on my 82 rubles (or what ever currency we will be using) pension I will have to give up driving as I will have no savings due to the high rates of income tax and unstable currency when I was working in an independent Scotland.

Then, as we will no longer be in the EU, I will not be able to apply for an EU grant for a mobility scooter powered by electricity from Salmond’s 5,000 turbine wind farm on Shetland.

So I will just have to get the laptop out and plug it into the turbine at the back of the house and look at your photos of Shetland so I can remember what we had before independence.

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All the while singing my favourite song: “Where have all the oil revenues gone, long time passing, gone to the central belt every one long long ago”.

All this while sitting in the shadow of a burnt out flare stack sipping at my Japanese-owned whisky made from English barley, as there is nowhere to grow barley in Scotland because of wind turbines, and toasting you Douglas for the photos I saved.

Stopping only occasionally to throw a dart into the photo on the wall of King Alex, Queen Nicola and Prince Swinney of Poundland.

Gordon Harmer (on behalf of myself),
Brae