Letters / It’s gonna be great
Dear Subject,
I am writing this letter to inform you that a group of Far West activists are renaming the area of water between the West Mainland and Northmavine.
This bay is erroneously called St. Magnus Bay and from now on will be known as The Gulf of Sandness.
Group leader Gonad Rump says “this is a beautiful name for a beautiful watery landscape we’re gonna make westside great again, it’s gonna make a biggly difference to the beautiful Westside people … beautiful people … it’s gonna be great … gonna be great.”
The group’s vice leader B. J. Vince said: “The people of Muckle Roe have failed to protect Papa Little and so we are taking back control and from now it will be called Papa Sandness. It’s vital for the strategic security of Far Westside.”
The martial leader of the Far West Pete Hedcase said: “I’m fully behind what the Great Leader says and will take the action required … whatever.”
The Martian member of the Far West Leon Guff said: “Once we have control of the Gulf of Sandness we will use it as launch pad to conquer the west side of Mars” raising his arm at 45 degrees to show the position of his conquest.
The Far Westists released a statement saying: “We fully believe in freedom of speech, people can voice their opposition to this beautiful plan and we have the freedom to make them unemployed or bankrupt, preferably both. It’s our constitutional right.”
Your so severely
Gonan Rump
B. J. Vince
Pete Hedcase
Leon Guff
